Ей така.

Ей така. Без предупреждение. Понеже всичко се случва без предупреждение. Ей така.

Живея ей така. Без да се съобразявам с всичко. Дори с това, което (не) пиша тук. И всеки ден чакам утре. Но малко взе да ми омръзва моето утре все да е "утре". А днес? Кога ли моето утре ще стане мое днес? Ще го дочакам ли? И дали въобще ще ме интересува тогава или даже няма и да забележа, че е дошло. И то ще си отиде ей така между прозявката на събуждане и прозявката преди лягане и дори няма да усетя, че това е било вчерашното ми "утре". Ей така, без предупреждение.

Може би просто трябва да спра да го чакам. Или ако си запиша в тефтера кога ще дойде утре, тогава няма да го забравя. Ще си отворя бележника и ето го "утре" - 24 април 2008. Или пък 3 май 2009. Все ще е утре.

А днес?

Днес седя на изкорубената седалка в киното, в празния салон и се взирам в нищото. Което между другото никога не свършва. Но няма значение, понеже утре няма да съм сама. Е да, няма да съм в същото кино, няма да се взирам в същата празнота и може би няма да имам толкова голяма нужда от една окуражителна прегръдка или погалване по косата, но какво пък - нали утре няма да съм сама... дори и тогава точно това да искам....

А днес?

Днес стоя на спирката е гледам как всеки се е сгушил кой в пуловера си, кой в якето си, кой в шала си или в топлото тяло до себе си и си мисля колко на мен ми липсва тази топлина. После пък ми хрумва - Защо ли ми липсва, след като я имам! Тя просто е утре, а не днес. Но утре може би няма да ми липсва. А днес!

Всяко "днес" се мъча да си доказвам, че има смисъл. Въпреки че моето днес и моето утре говорят на различни езици, това няма значение. Тях ги води друг език, друга сила. Те са намерили изначалния език, нишката на времето, която ги тегли един към друг и това в един момент няма как да не ги обедини. Само че за тази теория доказателство няма. Особено, когато седя сама на пейката в парка и толкова осезаемо съм сама, че всяко утре ми се вижда след години. И е тихо тогава. Никой не говори. Езикът няма значение. Точно както не би имал значение, ако утре беше днес...

Но днес си е днес.

А утре?

Четох скоро един блог, в който пишеше, че идва времето във всеки живот, когато трябва да спрем да се доказваме на света около себе си. А просто да живеем. Знам, че скоро ще се уморя да си записвам в тефтера какво ще се случи утре. Как ще го посрещна моето утре и как ще наваксаме всичко, което не сме успели да направим заедно днес. Само че тогава ще има толкова много нови неща за правене, че времето няма да ни стигне, за да наваксаме. И така винаги ще съм длъжница на моето вчера. На вчера, на което обещавах да наваксам утре. На всичките пропуснати мигове в чакане на следващия ден. И така до безкрай. До момента, в който отново ще стоя сама на спирката, ще поглеждам в празните ръце на хората и ще се опитвам да отгатна къде се крие моето утре. И така, докато си го представям и си записвам мислено в тефтера какво ще му кажа, то ще се случи.

И ще бъде толкова различно. Просто ей така. Без предупреждение.

И така до кога?

Lost and found

Travelling through time. And it's one helluva journey too. Seems like I've lost touch with my own life lately. More like lost track of it. Or lost motivation. Or found better things to do? Either way, a friend just challenged me to post something small here so that I start again this random flow of irrelevant information about my daily life mostly so that those interested can keep up and I can have something to practise my english with... since I'm finding myself short on time lately to actually talk to people. God forbid, I might lose half of my vocabulary!

Anyway, as you can see, I'm still the babbly kind of me that I was before so not that much has changed. The basics though. After last time I opened this webpage, which was in Bergen, then Oslo, I was drained out of my energy and "livlust" but then I had the amazingly good idea to travel to Aaland and Gotland and meet my Stockholm girls and Mr. Magnus and that brought me back to life. Not for too long though but certainly long enough to keep me smiling at least for a couple of weeks afterwards. Then the raincloud of upcoming exams thickened on the horizon and I devoted a whole month (with brief interruptions and seaside travels) to (relatively)hard studying. Which as it turned out was good enough to get me A's at all exams I took (to hell with modesty, I need something to make me feel good about myself right now! And I'm too scattered to look for the exact thing that will accomplish this pitiful task). After exams it was time to slappna av (relax) in Mr. Magnus' company and rediscover the beauty of my own country, which by the way is endless! I've still soooo much to see! I'm really being convinced that you can't really talk about the wonders of the world without having seen those that are right in front of you. Sadly though ,I've taken them for granted so far. Hope that changes!

So after the Bulgarian trip... school started. blah! My last year as a Scandinavian studies student. The last year with these people. In this university. Hopefully!!! Veeery hopefully so!!

THen a short business trip to Sweden to lift up my spirits and my knowledge of the professional life of a consecutive translator (huh? see, i don't even know the name in English. Please, do correct me!). Anyway, it was kinda cool and extremely exhausting.

Then school again. Same bullshit as always. Been there, done that. Except this time I had to do it while running around the whole of Sofia with a map in my hands, the cell phone on my ear and a notebook and a pen in my hand. Yes, I was looking for a new place to live. The student room doesn't do it any more. THe story got a little tense but it all worked out fine in the end. Now I have a beautiful new place to live, together with Teddy. And most importantly,I have my own little pretty room! Oh my room! Well, the inconvenience being that in that room there's nothing but a desk and a Bookshelf right now, but I'm waiting for my matress tomorrow, so at least I can sleep there from next week on, waiting for all my other stuff to arrive at some point. I've got some new plans too. And a couple of trips ahead of me too. So I can hardly call my life boring. At least not too boring. It's just mine. And I kinda have to like it, right? They accused me of being positive a while ago. Hm. Maybe I'm really picking it up from the awfully great people I have around me? Oh well! Just as well. It's most simply my lost and soon to be found life.

Dream a little dream of me

I'm sitting in a the middle of a multicultural reality in a hostel in Bergen enjoying a travel conversation on the right side and people eating Rudy the crab on the left sight. Hm. Which one should I join?

It rains, rains, rains... Keeps raining...

But it's kind of nice anyway. We're all sitting in the kitchen sharing memories, stories, food whatever. I got to blow bubbles in the fjord today. I bought a funny walking butterfly and on my hand I have Bjørns leather bracelet that smells like a wet dog. Hahah. So, a funny day that means. And in my head I have a dream. A little cosy dream... Dream a little dream of me :)

Time for postcard writing.

A brief remark on rubberboot modifications

The Gap. It's turning into a fixed word. The gap between lectures and lunch. It's funny how all my daily life is concentrated around eating. What i am doing before lunch, after lunch, before dinner... etc. Truth be told, there's not that much to be done considering the weather conditions right now. I looked in the paper the other day and it stood there that the rainfalls that we're getting now per week are the same amount that Oslo gets per two months otherwise! Ergo, tooooooo much rain!! All my shoes are falling apart and soon my jeans will be unusable as well, so Oslo shopping - here i come!

Fanny was here all week last week and that was definitely a sunbeam in the grey rutine I already established myself here. At least I had a reason to go out and explore a little regardless of the rain, which I would probably not do otherwise. That got me thinking the other day, I have only 4 weeks left here, this one is actually already planned and full of trips so practically 3 weeks left and I still haven't seen that much of Oslo. What am I doing here?! I think that after I come back from Bergen I'll start roaming around Oslo's streets. I've put a little speed into the whole study thing, got into track with it and now it doesn't take that much time plus it's becoming easier and easier to get up in the mornings so I don't think a few hours of exploration a day will come into conflict with the do called academic purpose of my stay here.

As for Bergen, I accidentally came across an article... or maybe it was a blogpost, i don't know about the differences between Oslo and Bergen and by reading it I pretty much got the impression that it's something like Stockholm vs Gøteborg only on a much more rural base. So maybe the comparison Østersund Sundsvall would be more appropriate. Indeed Oslo is like a small town. People here dress like the people in Sundsvall. I still remember the unbelievably tastelessly dressed girl I saw back in Sundsvall, wearing rubber boot with some ridiculous pattern like hearts, or leopard pattern or something of the like, leggigs of some other equaly awful pattern, a top in poisonous green and a poisonously purple dress on top. You just can't help but stare in disgust when you see something like that! so here you can see all kinds of style variations more or less resembling Sundsvall fashion tendencies (or lack of such). Well, ok.. not sooo bad, but nearly. The most fashionable piece of clothing right now, considering the weather, is indeed the rubberboots! I'm really amazed what variations of the plain bondegummistøvlar Norwegians can think of! rubberboots with laces, rubber sneakers, rubber high heels, rubber hiking shoes... and the patterns? Oh dear god! Leopard, zebra, polka dots, kakhi, rainbow colours, stripes, smileys, clouds and suns... whatever the mind of a 5-year-old can think of and draw on a sheet of paper with crayons. They have it! and the most usual scene here is a woman getting on the metro wearing a suit, a leather suitcase, with somewhat stylish hair and as a must kneehigh yellow rubberboots eith red or black laces and her neatly ironed pants tucked inside the boots. At the sight of it I just take a deep breath or sigh just as deeply and think about what Annie's Swedish boyfriend said yesterday - When you live in Scandinavia you can't allow the weather to ruin your plans. Otherwise you'll never get anything done. So true! The reason he said that though was yesterday's barbeque on one of the islands in Oslo's archipelago. When I read in the Program the first day that we're going to BBQ on the island i thought - how cool! but little did i know about Oslo's relation with rain. But what the hell, we decided to go to the BBQ anyway and at 10am yesterday we were at Blindern with a backpack full of food (my jacket and the camera) ready to try out the grillplaces we thought they have prepared for us there. Ha! The only grills they had were 12 onetime grills for all the people coming. Thanks to the rain we weren't that many and it wasn't that crowded around the only source of warmth in the cold morning otherwise we would have had to queue in order to get to the small tin box with coal and put a single sausage on it cause you know, there has to be place for the others too. Nevertheless though, the BBQ was a pityful sight. It took lace on a rock by the water where we gathered in two groups each with 6 grills and two of the people of each group had to stand with their umbrellas over the BBQs so that the rain doesn't spoil not only the good mood (which wasn't even present) but the chance to get food also. I bet that if i had seen that from aside I would have laughed my ass off. Everyone standing by the water umbrella in one hand and a hotdog in the other, munching on the potatosallad and staring thoughtfully in the drops on rain in the sea or making smalltalk about the weather, the ketchup, the wet ground or who the next umbrella person will be. I don't mean to sound so negative though. It was a nice lunch... considering that it was the only meal i had that day, I definitely can't complain! Some of the others caught a cold though, due to the runing around in the rain looking for quizz questions in a fortress on the island. Yeah, outdoor games are always a must to such social events as BBQs. And again, as Annie's bf said: You can't miss out on social events or any kind of activities because of the weather. If you do, you'll never even go out of your room. You have to addapt to the weather and get on with it. Norwegians' best solution is rubberboots. Soon to be expected is the new and updated version of the raincoat. I can't wait to see what a futuristic view of the garbage bag some rainsoaked norwegian mind with come up with.
Until then i have to think of a way to use my camera even when it rains, otherwise I won't even open my camera bag during all the 6 weeks in Oslo.

The "stoff" in my day came - lunch! More later.

Earning pocket money, norwegian style

Needless to say, it's still raining here. Hasn't stopped for days. I hate this kind of rain! It's just raining so that there would be something spoiling the good feeling of everything. It's not raining to make a point - you know, when it rains heavily for 10 minutes and then it stops, this is just rain for the sake of raining. Norwegian stubborn irritating pain-in-the-ass rain! And they say that once it starts it can go on like this for weeks... someone mentioned even months but i choose to ignore that comment! I really wonder how come they haven't been flooded so far. Hm.

But anyway, straight to the topic - how to earn pocket money here in Norway. Some pracitical tips. Last week we met a guy from Venecuela who lives 2 floors above me and he turned out to be a very talkative and nice guy, funny and all so we started talking and he told us a few tricks that his roommate used to make a little cash and which turned out to be seo effective that the guy is considering quitting his real job! So what am i talking about? Apparently here in Norway people really do have so much money that they don't really care or keep track of them any more. For example in the supermarkets there is no staff other than the girls at the counters so if you go to the fruit section for example and after looking through the apples, strawberries, pears and some other more pricy fruits you "accidentally" find something rotten you just rush to the counter, make a disguisted face at the girl and tell her that you found this and you're so shocked and insulted that they tried to sell you rotten fruit that you want your money back! "Back?" I thought when the Venecuelan guy was giving me and Annie instructions about making easy cash. Well, maybe it's just the formal expression for it cause you really haven't even given them a dime for those apples or strawberries, but still they give you money back. Cool, huh? THe guy was so excited talking about it, he said his roommate is quitting his job and starting to roam around the Kiwi stores around Oslo. I think he already has his system, which fruit pay out better, which stores have more potencial for money making and so on.

So today me and Annie went to our Kiwi store for pasta and fruit and ta-daa. What do you know? I find a rotten nectarine! Annie says she won't bring it to the counter and make a fool of herself but I'm certainly willing to do it! what the hell! In the worst case, they'll tell me to pick another basket of fruit. So I put on my most shocked expression and tell the girl that i found those among the fruit and... (i don't really know what i am supposed to say after that so i just prolonge the aaaaanndd). she looks at me questionable and repeats my and with a questionmark in the end at which i'm starting to curse at the Venecuelan, thinking that he was just kidding with us and no one really cares if you've found some bad food in the store or not. But just then the girls gives me a hint, clearly seeing that this is "my first time". "You want your money back?" she says. Well, of course I do! Ha! And here i am with 4 kroner more in my pocket :P Not much but still i earned them fair and quare ;) As the guy pointed out "Head for the strawberries, they're most expensive! But also look through everything - fish, meat, fruit, vegetables, anything!"

That's what I call modern garbage rambling! You find trash and they give you money for that. I guess it's cheaper than having to employ a person working fulltime checking all the products, when people/students can just as well do that too. At least next time I see someone looking thoroughly through the tomatoes i won't wonder what kind of tomato freak he is. He's just short on cash.

Mtv Music Awards. And the winner is....

Another day in rainy Oslo.

Another hour until it's time for lunch.

Shall I continue where I left off last time? Where was that? The prom ceremony? Jaha. I have to get better at this blogging thing cause so many things happen (and at the same time nothing special happens that i don't know what to write about or wher to begin from).

One thing I forgot to write about last time was the American Show that we had last sunday. Unfortunately, I've seen few things as ridiculous as that... Otherwise my life would have been a tad more interesting om jag får si slikt. It was presented by an American (now you're all going to start thinking i have something against the Americans here, but honestly i don't! It just happens so that they are in the spotlight of my funny/ridiculous stories), so by an American who has been at the school 43 years ago and he came now with his daughter to do what? Present a talent show and boast about what an amazing life he's had after the summer school here in Oslo. We thought he really was some fancy jazz musician jusging by his posters which were all around the school... Well, not really. Turned out he could sing... more or less... and the only thing he did was sing a few Sinatra songs and s few Elvis songs (whose updated text by the way Elvis would have turned upside down in his grave if he had heard) and he and his daughter had prepared a very "nice" dialog for the show too that made it all look all the more like Mtv music awards. His reading his lines, she reading hers and all sounding like something in the lines of :
- Hey Tash, have I told you about the time I went to Vegas and sang that Elvis song....
- No Dad, what happened?
- Well, if you turn over the page I can tell you (this in a little lowerer voice)

And it all goes on like that. THen there was a "game" that they needed two volunteers for, of course those were two american guys contributing for the god stemning of the show. And all that blahblah all evening long. I don't even remember all the details but I sure do remember that I felt like we all were extras in a bad hollywood country movie ehre the director was telling us all the time to clap our hands, wave them in the air, sing along osv. Bah! And all that noise for nothing. I wonder what this sundays Performance series will bring. Probably more material for the blog.

Otherwise everything is ok here. I'm kind of sorry that i don't live here on Blindern cause then i don't have to travel all the time abck and forth to matsalen or i can stay and go to some pub with the others or just go to my room inbetween lunch breaks and whatever other breaks there are. Well, Kringsjå is just fine too... At least I live alone and I have my own bathroom. Unlike the people here at Blindern. I went to the room of an Austrian girl the other day and in her tiny room there were three doors (almost no space for anything else on the walls but doors) so i asked what they lead to. Turned out one is for the closet, the other one for the bathroom and the third one... leads to another person's room! I really thought she was joking so i went to the door and said Yeah, right, and if i open it now there will be someone on the other side, or what? And not even waiting for an answer i opened the door and fan ,there really was a girl sitting on her bed! And on top of it all when you go into her bathroom (the Austrian) there's yet one more door on the other side of the bathroom that leads to yet another room, a different one! So what happened with the privicy, the personal space and individualism of the Scandinavians? Or is that valid for all except for exchange students? We have to have close contact, get to know each other really well... share a bathroom and even a bed. I'd actually say that as unusual and shocking as i thought it was i kinda cool. Crazy-cool. What if you mix up the door to your closet with the door to your neighbour when you're naked in the morning and about to dress up? That would be an interesting situation. Or going into the bathroom to take a shower with your other nieghbour. Hahah

It doesn't stop raining here. At all! They said it's going to rain all week next week too... Well, I have to say that's somewhat better than the 40 degrees back home. But still a little sun from time to time would also be kinda nice. Ikke sant? Magnus came the other day and yesterday we went to the islands outside Oslo. It was fantastic! I'm sorry i didn't have my camera with me to show you how lovely people have made their lives there. And when i say lovely, i mean lovely! The whole island was as if taken from a fairy tale. Little house, coloured in bright colours, roses on the windows and walls, little flower or veggi gardens too, cute post boxes, rakita chairs and tables under the shade of some pine tree, a hammock here and there... and then again the beach, the sea, the seaguls and the Canadian geese everywhere... Idyllic if i can say so. :) I loved it! Going back there with my camera for sure.

But that's gonna happen some sunny day in the near future (maybe when Fanny comes). The only place I intend going to right now is again lunch, cause as you already know i get hungry kl. 12 :P

later!

Being Californian is a state of mind.

As it seems I'll be wiritng these posts before lunch every day cause apparently there's nothing else to do in the gap. Bah! Tomorrow I'm bringing a book.

But anyway, I still have 10-15 min on my disposal before i head to matsalen so I may as well take it up from where i left off yesterday. The people. well what can i say - all kinds of people. I got to know two Romanian girls, a few Poles, a few Germans (cause they're simply everywhere?), a few people from Croatia, Slovakia you name it. Lota of Americans here too... surprisingly a lot actually. And a surprisingly big number of them speak norwegian... more or less ;) But I can't really get into a close contact with them. I'm sure they're really nice and all that but by the few encounters I had with them, I'd say: errrr no, thanks, i'll stick to the europeans! The most recent example of a puzzled face i got by talking to an American was at the city hall reception where I talked with a neuro surgent from California. Or Iæm not really sure he is a neuro surgent, he was some kind of a doctor iallafall. So we talked about the States, California, Mexico, Europe, bla bla... (surprisingly enough, he was good in geography outside his out State) and all the geographical talk turned into a psychological and phylosofical definition of nationality. He said he wasnæt American, he was from California and that is a state of mind! Jaha... I wonder if that doesnæt apply for every place in the world? I could just as well say Being Bulgarian is a state of mind, although as a rule many see it as a historical misunderstanding or geographical misplacement to be Bulgarians. I myself don't mind. Can't complain. Being Bulgarian is maybe a matter of temperament most of all if yopu would allow me to use this cliche.

This far I don't have that many interactions with the people here as they are so many, but I can't complain of lack of compain by any means! Although i do feel i've left a tad of my sociality back in Sweden and this huge mass of people can be somewhat frustrating at times.

Speaking of which The City Hall reception was the most boring social event I've attended here so far. Did I mention ridiculous too? It said Formal Dress on the invitations. Ok, formal it is, of course as formal as a summer course allows, cause i doubted that anyone would take an evening gown with them only for one evening. Turned out to be wrong though. Those that came from the furthest places had the fanciest dress. Travelling light doesn't seem to be a common phenomenon in Asia for example. As for the Americans again, I'd say that in their case it was more a matter of i-want-to-be-the-prom-queen phenomenon. When me and Annie got the school to take the buss to the center there was literally a high school prom preparation going on there. Girls and women in long silk dresses standing proudly in front of the dormitory building with a huge fake smile on their faces waiting to have their picture taken. Everyone taking pictures, everyone with everyone, everyone alone, with this statue and that tree, sitting, standing, walking... falling. THe only thing missing was the applauding crowd with the flowers and all the relatives crying at the sight of their little girl growing up and leaving home. Bah!

More later, time to eat again.